Many people don’t know how to take a compliment. Sometimes I am one of them. There is something in our mind-set, an extra critical voice that says we don’t deserve positive feedback and anyone who is giving us a compliment must lie or maybe feel sorry for us.
The compliments are a kind of gift, and turning down a gift insults the person giving it, suggesting that we don’t value them as highly as they value us. When we receive a compliment, that means we have earned someone's respect and admiration. So, it's time for us to learn how to take a compliment.
· According to lifehack.org, there are a few things that you and I need to stop doing.
- Putting yourself down: Stop thinking that you don’t deserve the compliments you get it.
- Assuming the other person doesn’t really mean it: You may be right, sometimes, but it doesn’t matter. Responding as if they did disarms whatever ulterior motive they might have. On the other hand, acting as if they didn’t mean it when they did is insulting and makes you come off as either a jerk or a basket case. Stop doing it.
- Pointing out your weaknesses: A compliment isn’t about your weaknesses, it’s about your strengths. There’s plenty of time to focus on improving faults later; for now, bask in the recognition of what doesn’t need fixing.
- Deflecting compliments to others: We often respond to the embarrassment of being singled out for praise by deflecting it to others. Others may be deserving, but so are you.
- Claiming it was all “luck”: Another way of deflecting embarrassing attention from yourself, with the added bonus of freeing you from responsibility for not only your successes but your failures.
- Making them work for it: Cut the long stream of “no, it was nothings” and “I just did what I had to dos” and let people give you the compliment. Putting it off until they’ve given it three or four times, each time more insistently, is selfish.
· And we need to start doing these things:
- Own your accomplishments: It wasn’t luck or the goodwill of others or any other reason that you managed to do something praiseworthy, it was your own effort and commitement. Even if you truly were just in the right place at the right time, you deserve credit for recognizing an opportunity and acting on it. If you wouldn’t dream of not taking responsibility for your failures, then step up and take responsibility for your achievements.
- Be appreciative: A compliment is a gift. You wouldn’t put down or reject a gift from a friend; treat compliments the same way.
- Be honest and optimistic about the future. Not pointing out your weaknesses doesn’t mean you can’t be honest about what lays ahead. But a simple “We still have to do x, y, and z but it’s good to see we’re on the right track” will suffice. Don’t make someone waste their effort paying a compliment by telling them how the thing they’re praising is probably doomed to fail in the long run.
- Recognize your contribution. You may not be the only one who deserves to be complimented on a job well-done, and it’s fine to say so, but remember that you’re a part of your group’s success, too. Don’t say “Well, Alex and David deserve all the credit”; instead say “Thanks, I’m sure Alex and David will appreciate hearing that, too.”
- Follow up. If applicable, offer to involve the person giving you a compliment in your success. “Thanks, Maria. I wonder if you’d like to help us out by offering some feedback on…”
- Be gracious. Giving a compliment isn’t always easy. When someone does offer you one, accept it easily and gracefully. Pay one back, if merited. Let people know that you appreciate them for appreciating you.
So, take this challenge and try to accept the compliments graciously and openly with two words “ Thank you “. Remember that you deserve to receive compliments from others. After all, you know that you are worth it, right? :)
If you like this post, don't forget to share it with your friends! :)
· According to lifehack.org, there are a few things that you and I need to stop doing.
- Putting yourself down: Stop thinking that you don’t deserve the compliments you get it.
- Assuming the other person doesn’t really mean it: You may be right, sometimes, but it doesn’t matter. Responding as if they did disarms whatever ulterior motive they might have. On the other hand, acting as if they didn’t mean it when they did is insulting and makes you come off as either a jerk or a basket case. Stop doing it.
- Pointing out your weaknesses: A compliment isn’t about your weaknesses, it’s about your strengths. There’s plenty of time to focus on improving faults later; for now, bask in the recognition of what doesn’t need fixing.
- Deflecting compliments to others: We often respond to the embarrassment of being singled out for praise by deflecting it to others. Others may be deserving, but so are you.
- Making them work for it: Cut the long stream of “no, it was nothings” and “I just did what I had to dos” and let people give you the compliment. Putting it off until they’ve given it three or four times, each time more insistently, is selfish.
· And we need to start doing these things:
- Own your accomplishments: It wasn’t luck or the goodwill of others or any other reason that you managed to do something praiseworthy, it was your own effort and commitement. Even if you truly were just in the right place at the right time, you deserve credit for recognizing an opportunity and acting on it. If you wouldn’t dream of not taking responsibility for your failures, then step up and take responsibility for your achievements.
- Be appreciative: A compliment is a gift. You wouldn’t put down or reject a gift from a friend; treat compliments the same way.
- Recognize your contribution. You may not be the only one who deserves to be complimented on a job well-done, and it’s fine to say so, but remember that you’re a part of your group’s success, too. Don’t say “Well, Alex and David deserve all the credit”; instead say “Thanks, I’m sure Alex and David will appreciate hearing that, too.”
- Follow up. If applicable, offer to involve the person giving you a compliment in your success. “Thanks, Maria. I wonder if you’d like to help us out by offering some feedback on…”
- Be gracious. Giving a compliment isn’t always easy. When someone does offer you one, accept it easily and gracefully. Pay one back, if merited. Let people know that you appreciate them for appreciating you.
So, take this challenge and try to accept the compliments graciously and openly with two words “ Thank you “. Remember that you deserve to receive compliments from others. After all, you know that you are worth it, right? :)
If you like this post, don't forget to share it with your friends! :)
No comments :
Post a Comment